i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
pray to the hookup gods
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
