I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
