you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
