She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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