its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
