So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
