Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I can't put those talents on a resume
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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