Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
