he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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