Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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