I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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