her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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