I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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