You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
