escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
