Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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