Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
