just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
