So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
