the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
