Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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