I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
