in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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