Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
