i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my vag is so smooth its legendary
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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