How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
