and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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