I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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