I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
