I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize