VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
