i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
