just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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