I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
