Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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