Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
A+ Viking dick
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
