it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
