so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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