I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
