Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
