My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize