i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
