I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
