I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
