oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
