I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
