K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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