Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
