You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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