Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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