YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
