did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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