tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
