I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
