She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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