There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
