I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Swine flu is the new snow day.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
