just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
