HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
