Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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